About the project

Make it personal.

A poor image of masculinity, negative body image, shame, no shortage of insecurities, and fear. If I am to make work that communicates progress and self exploration it should press against these foundations much of my life felt built upon. What loving looks like took a shape of what I ingested in books and toxic messaging from people in power and influence. Messages often pointing at why and how I should be ashamed of all the pieces of me. Hiding these pieces built up bricks of even more shame like a viral cycle of trauma. This collection of photographs are representative of releasing the fear attached to my own attractions and ideas of beauty. They also explore the evolving framing of what it means to be masculine.

More about the artist

Brian grew up in a financially secure place, with no apparent lack for food or resources. Sheltered in a predominantly privileged society he was not intended to face things that his parents faced while growing up. A child of a mixed race couple, but spend much of his childhood unaware of the nuances and cultural effects this might have on him. The Western Evangelical experience and “born again” movement greatly impacted much of his life. Those specific forms of Christian dogma formed traumatic wounds of self loathing and shame. Often these aspects were magnified in the home life as lack of performance or expectation was met with shaming and looming fear. Brian, a queer person, forced himself into the cult-like molds of Evangelicalism which further worked to bury and stomp on any healthy understanding of sexuality and identity. It wasn’t until his mid-twenties that he was able to undo the harm and traumas of these oppressive thought prisons. It is from this place of healing and therapy that this personal collection of images emerge.

Over time this body of work will reflect a different idea of beauty and acceptance.

In a culture that is flooded with imagery that elevates dreams of escapism, a marketed appeal of luxurious beauty, cultural normalizing, and setting standards for whom we deem attractive and how they are valued; I wanted to publish a collection of images shot over a period of a few years that feature the large male body. I want to display a certain body type that gets a lot of flack for being undesirable and pinned with negative after negative. My hope is that the images in this collection show the opposite of those notions. Curves are quite lovely. Fat is not an excuse to stigmatize people. All people have worth. All shapes and sizes are attractive to someone.